Your Mind Has to Get There Before You do.

finish line mind

Being in an abusive relationship takes a serious toll on someone. I personally feel the real work starts with recovering and learning to just “be” again, but I’ll get to that in a minute. Right now, I just want to highlight still being in the relationship, like how I was a few years back. Many victims will tell you it seems like it’s no way out. They are trapped by different things such as lack of finances, shame, fear of retaliation and ignorance. Another point victims reach is realization: when they know they’re being abused and it’s only going to get worse if they stay – they must leave NOW. But between fear and shame pulling and tugging at you, it’s often difficult to get past that point.

Something needs to happen, right?

When I realized I needed to get out, my heart and mind immediately became flooded with sadness, fear, self-doubt and even defeat. But you know what? I realize now that reaction was perfectly normal. By body had to process what the heck was going on and that was part of the overall journey, so it was no weakness on my part to feel that way. After I got myself together, I knew I had to start planning – which for me meant picturing a destination in my mind. I had to literally picture myself out of that relationship enjoying life again; in a new apartment where he wouldn’t find me and I would be able to finally start working on me. I had to make my destiny real in my mind first before anything else could happen. Once I did that, there was no stopping me. Did I face challenges on the way out? Absolutely! In fact, those challenges were an indication I was on the right path, and I needed to keep going. Friends doubted me, family members judged me, but I always had to go back and remember I needed to follow where my mind had gone already. As for as my mind was concerned, I was out of that relationship and starting a new chapter in my life. I could not let any negativity hold me back at that point – in fact, I could not afford to let it hold me back or else I would quickly sink.

-I realized I had to be free in my mind first before I was able to be free from my abusive relationship

Give your mind a chance

Yes, the mind can be very negative and lead you to discouragement and complete despair. Part of the problem is, we always focus on the mind’s negative qualities. The other side of that is your mind can take you places you’ve never imagined possible. It can be very powerful for all the right reasons! Some of the world’s most beautiful, fascinating structures – new and old, first started out as an image in the mind. The chair you’re sitting in now as you read this post, first started off as a picture in someone’s mind. The creator already knew the end result, it was just a matter of them working towards where they mind was already set. You have the same capability – I just shared my own example with you, and I’m coming from a place where I felt I was in a deep dark pit with no way of getting out. I had to keep working towards getting out and always remember what I had pictured. I’ve done it many times since then and it has never failed. You have what it takes to get out of the dark place, whether you’re still in an abusive relationship or you’ve left and don’t know what’s next, you definitely have what it takes within you to create that place you long to go to. Don’t let the picture be created for you by someone else.